I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
