I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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