My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
