So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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