so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
