I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
