took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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