Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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