your room smells of hookers.
And success
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
