Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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