Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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