just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
