she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
