Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
