it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
