Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize