Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
