New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We're too hungover to prance.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
