thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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