The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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