she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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