it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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