Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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