yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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