The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
