Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
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she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
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Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
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