his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
