I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
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Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
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That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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