piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
