Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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