U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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