first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
