Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
