bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
