my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
