so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
