I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
