John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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