They should really pass out barf bags in church
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
