im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
