Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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