He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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