you guys were way drunker than both of me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
