I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
