I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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