we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
