I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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