So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
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We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
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