great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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