I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
