Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
