the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
