I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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