oh god the rape fog is back!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I touched a dick in church today
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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