Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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