im drinking this country out of the recession.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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