Pappa wants mamma naked
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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