They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
