So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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