Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Who died my cat blue again?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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