she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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