Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
